Guy Who Does Nothing for the Cause Marks Interested on Women’s March Facebook Event for Feminist Brownie Points

FAIRFAX, Va. — Despite contributing nothing toward the cause as a whole, Fairfax resident Brian Bellfield has shared on Facebook that he is interested in attending this year’s Women’s March.

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Although Bellfield, who has never attended a previous Women’s March due to various excuses of no substance, is still uncertain if he’ll actually attend, he is confident that by marking “interested” on the Facebook event others may be inspired to do so.

“Facebook and other social media have allowed this entire movement to come together, and that’s truly amazing,” Bellfield, a registered voter who did not vote in the 2016 or 2018 elections, said in a recent interview. “It is my sincerest hope that my example will inspire others to possibly check out the Women’s March.”

Regardless of having done nothing to advance female equality over the past few years, Bellfield received multiple likes for his declaration of possible attendance, supplementing them with his own comment reading “Down with the patriarchy!” Sources confirmed that many of the likes were primarily from other upper-middle-class white men such as Jimmy Allen, who commented “Yeah, man! Maybe I’ll see you there” on the post.

When questioned about his lack of activism in the past, Bellfield explained that his busy schedule prevented him from participating in protests that were sometimes scheduled a year in advance. “Life’s pretty hectic, you know? I can’t always be there in person, but I try to be there in spirit.”

“Plus, I sometimes share feminist-inspired posts from my friends who do go, so I’m still fighting the good fight,” he added.

He went on to specifically reference the 2017 Women’s March, which he planned on attending but opted out of at the last minute, as he didn’t feel like putting up with the traffic. Steve Darby, a male coworker close to Bellfield, also assured critics that the fact that his privilege has made him immune to the direct effects of misogyny passed on from older generations had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with his decision to not attend the protest.

Bellfield concluded his statement by assuring reporters that even though he was pretty sure he’ll be unable to attend the march, he will still check-in on Facebook for the event, if that’s an option. “You know, just like that Standing Rock thing a couple of years ago.”

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