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Fan Resident Willing to Pay $1 Million to Be Within Walking Distance of Bandito’s

RICHMOND, Va. — When Brik Layton set out to find a roommate for his quaint but trendy two-bedroom apartment along Kensington Avenue in Richmond’s bustling Museum District, he thought his lofty price tag of $1 million a month might be aiming too high.

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“I did it kind of as a joke,” Brik Layton, a VCU graduate student, said. “But then this guy gave me a call a couple hours after I posted the ad and his first question was ‘How long does it take to walk to Bandito’s, dude?’ and I knew I had found my new roommate.”

That voice on the phone turned out to be Robert Ryker, a 37-year-old house flipper and huge fan of the Mexi-Cali burrito lounge.

“Grande fan indeed, muy grande,” Ryker proclaimed over enchiladas and margaritas Wednesday night at the Devil’s Triangle establishment. “There’s just something about the smell of tacos, tequila, and mustache wax that makes me feel right at home, which is now only a five minute walk away. This place has sweet Red Bull tables and a big mirror in the bathroom to take selfies with your bros.”

“You can’t find another place like this anywhere,” Ryker said before taking the mic from three young ladies who had just laugh-sung their way through Sublime’s “Smoke Two Joints.” He proceeded to do a stirring rendition of the Marc Cohn classic “Walking in Memphis” to limited applause.

“It’s the best karaoke song, I do it every week. Also, this place has like a thousand TVs to show football. Where’d they think of this? A million dollars to live within walking distance of this place is a steal, bro.”

Ryker has reportedly settled in nicely to his new apartment, but is still haggling with Layton since the price of the apartment did not include utilities.

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