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State Capitol Janitor Frank Surprised to Find He’s Virginia’s New Governor

RICHMOND, Va. — Explaining that he had no idea he was even in the line of succession to become the leader of the Commonwealth, Frank Donahue, the State Capitol’s head janitor, arrived at work to discover that he was now Virginia’s governor, sources confirmed Thursday.

RELATED (article continued below):

“This is all a shock to me,” Donahue remarked. Despite having spent the past seven years making sure the bathrooms outside of the Senate Chamber are clean, he is now poised to become the state’s governor due to his noticeably clean background. “I had overheard about the stuff Northam, Fairfax, and Herring were going through, but I didn’t think it would lead to the guy who mops the floors around the rotunda becoming the boss. That’s one heck of a promotion.”

The former custodian and new governor-elect was last seen reading a copy of the state’s constitution while asking colleagues if they could replace the urinal cakes in the men’s restroom near the building’s main entrance on Bank Street.


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20 Comments on State Capitol Janitor Frank Surprised to Find He’s Virginia’s New Governor

  1. Joseph Kesler // February 7, 2019 at 3:19 pm // Reply

    Now he and all who were involved in the mess should be charged under the Federal RICO and CCI statues of conspiring to commit murder as well as Civial Rights violations of the child. The person had the right not to have sex.


  2. Joseph, you leave Janitor – err, governor – Frank alone! 😀


  3. Marcia Woolman // February 7, 2019 at 5:59 pm // Reply

    unsubscribe me


  4. Anthony Stremcha // February 7, 2019 at 6:55 pm // Reply

    Someday he is going to wish he was still a janitor…
    Make your state proud Frank!


  5. Governor or janitor…. they both deal with the same things…. no difference… just better pay….


  6. Virginia could repledge allegiance to the Crown and ask the Queen to send a Governor if frank isn’t ‘as clean’ as he seems to be…there was that incident at the teacher’s Christmas Party involving wearing a lampshade


  7. American Woman // February 7, 2019 at 10:18 pm // Reply

    I’m sure someone, somewhere will dig up some trash from his past. 😀


  8. Asked colleagues not to eat the urinal cakes. Old problem. Will now be sorted in two ticks.


  9. Brilliant


  10. Shame “Janitor Frank” didn’t run in the last gubernatorial election; he could have had a nice “vote me in and I’ll *sweep and mop* the state of corrupt politics” platform.


  11. We don’t know if he’s Republican or Democrat. We’ll know as soon as the first charge of sexual harassment is made. If most of the news outlets and late night t.v. hosts attack the accuser, he’s Republican. If there are hysterical people on every channel demanding his resignation, he’s Republican. (If he commits suicide or dies in a botched robbery, he’s a Democrat with dirt on the Clintons.)


    • Grrrr, Damned typos.


    • I have two words for you… Al Franken. I love how so many people are blinded by political party lines lately that they just cast aside reality. Doug I know this probably won’t register with you right away but people like you are actively destroying this country from the inside out. Take a few minutes to digest that…


  12. Johnny Ripps // February 8, 2019 at 4:42 pm // Reply

    Now he’s going to find out what it’s like being in a real shit house….lol…he just thought he had a crappy job!


  13. I guess that is how far you would have to go to find an honest man with good common sense, and a good work ethic.


  14. Debi Drecksler // February 8, 2019 at 8:05 pm // Reply

    Sorry…I did not find that ( satirical) article humorous because it is stereotyping people who work in the janitorial field. It would do this country good to have people in the service industry as leaders. They are hard working, intelligent and in tune with the guy on the street.


  15. Looks like the janitor gets to clean up after Virginia government in more ways than one!


  16. Fred, you call attention to one exception. Can you venture another? Really!


  17. He may be the cleanest governer in Virginia.


  18. Figure that’s about the way it’s going in Va.


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  6. Virginia Pretty Sure Racism Is Finally Over After Learning Lesson From Blackface Scandals – The Peedmont
  7. State Capitol Janitor Surprised to Find He’s Virginia’s New Governor – Virginia Oracle

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