New Strawberry Street Restaurant to Feature Salad Bar Bidet

RICHMOND, Va. — In keeping with Strawberry Street Café’s popular decor, especially their famous bathtub salad bar, the venue’s new owners plan to install a salad bar bidet, sources confirmed Thursday.

RELATED (article continued below):

• Support our mission to compromise journalism by subscribing to our Patreon.

Peel & Slice, the restaurant that will be taking over the restaurant’s space in the coming months, say that the plumbing device, traditionally used to clean one’s anus, will launch standard salad bar items through a modified spigot onto plates.

“It’s one of the most sanitary, chic, culinary creations to come to RVA, and we’re proud to feature it,” Harrison Reams, Peel & Slice’s head chef, said in interview, adding that the buttocks-spraying fixture could be customized to each guest’s liking.

“In addition to having it spray a salad onto your plate, guests will be able to select individual items, such as radishes or croutons, to be sprayed onto their salads. The bidet can also shoot out some of our house-made dressings to complement your dish.”

In line with a bidet’s typical setting, the salad bar station will feature toilet paper instead of napkins, along with a functioning bathroom sink so guests can clean up before and after a meal.

RELATED:

• VCU Student Quits Drama-Filled Restaurant For Another Drama-Filled Restaurant
• Sparky Otter: “Only You Can Prevent Restaurant Fires!”
• BREAKING: Joe’s Inn Patron Makes Dent in Lasagna Dish

You should probably buy a t-shirt before you leave, yeah?