Rolling Stone Reports UVA Loss to Auburn

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Congratulating the Cavaliers on their tremendous but ill-fated run to the Final Four, Rolling Stone reported Sunday that UVA was eliminated from the NCAA tournament following their 1-point defeat to Auburn University.

“The Wahoos put up a good fight, but it was Auburn that had the winning hand in Saturday’s Final Four match,” Rolling Stone’s article read, commenting on UVA’s less than stellar shooting and inability to guard the lanes. “UVA spent forty minutes trying to force their way through Auburn’s defense but were thwarted repeatedly. For most of the second half, Auburn guard Jared Harper did not consent to UVA’s multiple attempts to invade the paint.”

“Auburn double teamed UVA forward Austin Katstra for most of the game, which resulted in a flaccid shooting record of 4-18 field goals and zero three pointers,” the article continued. “The Wahoos also recorded 14 personal fouls in the first half resulting in two players being sentenced to spend the remainder of the game in the locker room.”

Rolling Stone’s report ended with coverage on a watch party held at the Phi Kappa Psi fraternity house that got out of control, which led to campus police being summoned and charging students for crimes that they may or may not have committed.

RELATED: 

• UVA Students Burn Down Rotunda Again in Celebration of Final Four Berth
• Virginia Tech Now Requiring Class on Talking Shit About UVA Football
• Virginia Tech Student Recovering After Body Rejects Liver of UVA Grad

Celebrate March Madness with a t-shirt from our online store.