RICHMOND, Va. — Gasping for breath on the course’s sidelines, Museum District resident and self-described social media influencer Tiffany Peters came to the conclusion that running the Richmond Marathon wasn’t worth the social media exposure, sources confirmed Saturday.
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Peters, who realized that the annual 26 mile run just wasn’t worth it approximately two miles into the course, confirmed that her Instagram story would have to settle for a nihilistic meme instead of something about running.
“This seemed like a good idea when my friends signed up, because it’s sure to be a trending hashtag,” Peters said, adding that she’ll likely have to delete the selfie she took at the start of her run out of embarrassment.
“So when I signed up for it, I blasted it on Facebook and Instagram to let everyone know I was running. But running a marathon – however many miles that is – is just too exhausting, even if it would get me the social media attention I so desperately crave.”
“I didn’t even think to train for this, meaning I missed out on tons of potential selfie opportunities and ‘I woke up like this’ snaps,” Peters added. “That would have been way easier than actually running this thing.”
Sources confirmed that despite being a quitter, Peters still plans to post something deep tomorrow about overcoming the guilt and shame of failing at something that dozens of drunk frat boys and senior citizens somehow manage to do every year.
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