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Family Excited to Take Toddler to Historic Battlefield for an Experience She Won’t Remember

Kid crying at national battlefield

MANASSAS, Va. — Citing the need to get an early start on their daughter’s education, Emily and Scott Melnick have planned a trip to Manassas National Battlefield Park for a day of educational entertainment that Olivia, 2, will never remember.

The pair packed their 2007 Honda Odyssey with a stroller, a slew of diapers, and several items they hope will facilitate Olivia’s absorption of Civil War minutiae. While Emily Melnick acknowledged that Olivia would probably be unable to retain the contents of her own bowels, she was optimistic her daughter would easily absorb the details of 1860s military strategy.

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“We know she’s young, but she crawled at seven months and was speaking in full sentences by 15 months. Given her obviously high intellect, we think that she’ll remember some of it when she’s older,” Emily Melnick stated while cleaning up handfuls of Goldfish that Olivia threw all over the car.

The family plans to take a short tour at the historic landmark to capture the attention of their incurious child. Amidst the haunting scene of one of the first major battles of the Civil War, Olivia’s piercing cries are poised to hearken back to the blood-curdling howls of wounded Confederate soldiers.


The Melnicks hope that their daughter’s attention will be on the period structures still standing in the park, but sources say that the sightseeing will be competing with a “Little Einsteins” picture book.

“My parents never took me anywhere when I was younger, and it shows,” Scott Melnick said sheepishly. “I never learned about American history until high school. I figured that if we start now, we’re putting her on the path toward success.”

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