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Drunk Terry McAuliffe Seen Running Down the Street Making Airplane Noises

MCLEAN, Va. — A heavily intoxicated Terry McAuliffe was spotted yesterday running down Balls Hill Road in a zigzag pattern while making airplane noises, sources reported. Witnesses said that the former governor held up traffic as he made several passes back and forth across the road with his arms outstretched, pretending they were airplane wings.

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One motorist approached McAuliffe to ask if he was OK, but McAulliffe ignored him and continued to make banking turns and barrel rolls while shouting “YEEEONNNGGGGGMMMMMRRRRRRRRRRRRWAAAHHHHHROOOOOOOMMMMMMAAA YEEEOONNGGGUURRRRHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMWAAAAAAAAAAAANNNOOOGGGGOOOOOMMMMMM.”

A passerby contacted Fairfax County Police, and officers were able to corral the former governor and coax him into a waiting cruiser with a bag of gummy bears and the promise that he could play with the siren on the way home. Traffic was at a standstill on Balls Hill Road for about 25 minutes while officers handled the situation.

“Every now and then Dorothy McAuliffe forgets to lock the front door and Terry gets loose,” Chris Pearce, a patrolmen with the Fairfax County Police Department, said. “We’ve started stocking snacks and beer in our patrol cars to deal with these situations.”

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