Broad Appétit Patron Completes Second Lap Around Entire Festival Observing Food Options

RICHMOND, Va. — Stressing the importance of making informed decisions, Church Hill resident Jessica Suarez completed her second lap around the entire Broad Appétit food festival only observing all of the food options, sources confirmed Sunday. “So far, the only thing I’ve gotten while checking out all of the restaurants is a bottle of water,” Suarez commented, adding that although the gourmet tacos from Boka Tako and seafood plates from Croaker’s Spot both looked like solid choices, she wanted to make an educated decision on what to sample. “I just want to make sure I see what every vendor has to offer before I commit to anything. I’m trying to spend no more than five dollars, so I don’t want it to go to waste when there are so many things to choose from.”

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After Suarez successfully completed her second lap without ordering anything, she began on her third, much to the dismay of local restaurateurs. After several hours of dithering, frustrated chefs began confronting Suarez, including Chef Francesco Paisano of Rappahannock Oyster Co., who begged her to “just try something, please, I have a family I need to go home to.”

Suarez was later seen considering the waffle dish from Tarrant’s Cafe before walking down Broad Street yet again to check out the rest of the options. Latest reports indicate that Suarez gave up around 5:30 p.m. and settled on eating Chipotle instead.

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