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Scientists Meet To Find Any Existing Reason To Go To Mechanicsville

RICHMOND, Va. – Earlier this week, researchers and scientists held a summit at Randolph Macon University to determine if, in fact, there are any plausible scenarios that would cause an individual to travel to Mechanicsville.

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“Our scientific research thus far has told us that there’s really nothing to do there,” commented lead associate Miller Fulton. “There’s that one pizza place that’s kind of decent, but the land itself is bleak and filled with nothing but the eponymous auto repair shops.”

After their data collection is complete, the group will begin the second phase of their study, which will involve actually driving into Mechanicsville for further analysis.

“We tried to rely heavily on satellite imagery and pre-existing studies so we didn’t actually have to go,” commented data analyst James Fitzroy, ”Unfortunately the data only goes so far, so we’re planning a physical trip to gather samples. No one said science is all fun and games.”

The age-old question of whether or not there’s actually a valid reason to venture into Mechanicsville may soon have an answer.

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4 Comments on Scientists Meet To Find Any Existing Reason To Go To Mechanicsville

  1. Professor Yellow Jacket // March 3, 2018 at 2:45 pm // Reply

    It’s Randolph-Macon College—we are not a university.


  2. Steve Jobs // March 4, 2018 at 9:56 am // Reply

    I can’t find any existing reason to read your articles.


  3. They need to do a study to determine if there is any good reason to go south of the river (the James River — to the Southside).


  4. I have gone to Mechanicsville on purpose only twice. The first time I went I was attacked by a pack of wild dogs. The second time I went I was pulled over by a policeman because I wasn’t driving fast enough.


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