Advertisements
News Peed

Duke’s Mayo Acquisition Reminds Rest of Nation That Virginia Still Only State That Enjoys Tomato and Mayo Sandwiches

RICHMOND Va. — Following the acquisition of the C.F. Sauer Company, best known for producing Duke’s Mayo, by the Charlotte-based venture capital firm Falfurrias, additional sources confirmed Saturday that Virginia was still the only state in the nation that enjoys tomato and mayo sandwiches. 

RELATED (article continued below):

Sandra Janiston, a spokesperson for C.F. Sauer, shared details about the upcoming deal and the company’s famous mayonnaise. She also noted that while many recipes featuring the mayo consist of potato salads or composed salads, the Virginia market has always focused on combining the condiment with ripe tomatoes. 

“Throughout the negotiations with various companies and buyers, we managed to confirm that Virginians still consider mayonnaise and tomato pressed between two slices of white bread an acceptable sandwich — and they are still the only state that does so,” Janiston said, adding that even South Carolina and Florida citizens tend to reject the commonwealth’s staple.

“We couldn’t find a buyer anywhere else, so we settled on a North Carolina firm that could continue to sell our products to the one state that can’t even be bothered to put our product on a club sandwich, at the very least. We believe this special sandwich to be as much a part of Virginia’s culture as Patrick Henry’s famous ‘Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death’ speech, especially since many Virginians claim that Henry was eating a tomato and mayo sandwich during it.” 

Following the news of the acquisition, multiple supermarkets across the state have reported surges of customers buying up cases of the beloved mayo out of fear it may soon vanish for good.

“People are hoarding Duke’s like Obama is about to be elected president and is going to take away their guns,” Phil Litman, manager of a local Kroger said .

Hey! You made it this far, so why not check out the online store? (We have a Patreon too!)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: