Health Concerns Emerge as Teens Use Chesterfield Factory Smog to Get High

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — A new trend of teens using smog from the Chesterfield Power Station to get high has raised concerns throughout the Richmond metropolitan area.

The sensation, dubbed “Chesterbasing,” recently became popular among the area’s high school population. Plant officials have reported an uptick in teens driving to the roads surrounding the plant and then standing downwind of the billowing smog from the two chimneys in order to induce long-lasting, psychoactive sensations similar to that of MDMA usage.

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According to Susan Nicholas, a senior officer of the Chesterfield Health Department, the trend is practically an epidemic and needs to be addressed.

“This is unhealthy, addictive, and dangerous,” Nicholas remarked, emphasizing that the long-term effects of regular use could be devastating. “Not only do those fossil fuels contain harmful chemicals but exposure to the coal burned by Dominion Energy could give someone black lung in less than a day.”

“We need to get our kids back to the days of making memes that complain about vapers,” she added. “Hell, even getting involved with Philip Morris’ products would be a healthier investment for them.”

She did note, however, that the sensation has encouraged people to willingly travel to Chesterfield, boosting the economy. “Ever since the trend started, convenience stores and Wawas have reportedly seen their sales increase 140%.”

The Chesterfield Health Department has planned initiatives and partnerships with government sectors to try to curb the amount of Chesterbasing. “We’re working on a plan that will allow addicts to join their local YMCA with a tax-deductible membership, in addition to offering any affected youths free molly,” Nicholas explained.

“At least the molly doesn’t cause black lung,” she added.

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