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Virginia Tech Graduate Moves to North Carolina, Shocked That No One Cares About Alma Mater

RALEIGH, N.C. — Frank Wilcox, a member of Virginia Tech’s Class of 2017, learned the hard way that it’s a different world outside of Blacksburg. Upon graduating with a degree in computer science, Wilcox accepted a job at Desai Data Systems in Raleigh, North Carolina. When he moved there last week, he was startled to learn that North Carolina residents had almost no interest in Virginia Tech.

“Sure, I knew things would be a little different,” Wilcox admitted. “But I had no idea it was going to be like this. It’s like they don’t even care.”

Wilcox said that almost everyone he has talked to in Raleigh has no emotional attachment whatsoever towards the university. The only thing they seemed to know was that it is located somewhere in Virginia. Friends and family had tried their best to warn Wilcox that this was likely to happen. Despite his initial disbelief, it didn’t take him long to see what they were talking about.

“I could tell something was off after I crossed the state line,” Wilcox said. “I went about 20 minutes without seeing a car with Hokie stickers. No turkey’s foot, no ‘VT’. Not even a picture of Calvin urinating on a Cavalier. It was surprising to say the least.”

In just the short amount of time he has lived in North Carolina, Wilcox has already seen how cold and distant people are when he has tried to make them care as much as he does. “Just the other night I was in Buffalo Wild Wings and all anyone was talking about were the Tar Heels, the Wolfpack, and Duke,” Wilcox said. “No one chimed in when I brought up Frank Beamer and the legacy he’s left behind. Are you kidding me? In what sports bar on what planet do they not discuss Virginia Tech?”

Having finally accepted North Carolinians’ lack of interest in Virginia Tech, Wilcox worried that it could not only affect his emotional state but his wallet as well. “So now if I want to buy some Hokie merchandise, where am I supposed to go? Do I have to drive all the way to Virginia just to get a raincoat, thermos, and folding zero-gravity chair with the VT logo? It just seems ridiculous. My maroon and orange gear should be available anywhere and everywhere.”

6 Comments on Virginia Tech Graduate Moves to North Carolina, Shocked That No One Cares About Alma Mater

  1. Is this a joke? Nobody could be this obtuse. Have to call BS on him being a grad of ANY college.


  2. obviously it’s a joke you moron


  3. Wow you can use a big word and use it correctly and yet have not the faintest of clues that you are reading satire. Amazing!


  4. Art imitating life. It’s satire but true.


  5. Hahaha!!! I love this!! So true for any Hokie that moves outside of VA!!!


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