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We Ranked the Only Stoplight in Floyd County

FLOYD, Va. — Whether you’re traveling on Route 8 from the middle of nowhere or driving on Route 221 coming from slightly left of the middle of nowhere, you may find yourself face to face with the one and only stoplight in Floyd County. Here is that traffic light ranked by the staff at The Peedmont.

Best Stoplight for Brunch With Your Besties

Meet Tina and Paula in the window seat at Blue Ridge Cafe with a clear view of the Floyd stoplight and chow down on their Gravy Biscuit Platter while Paula tells you the highs and lows of “swiping right on damn near everybody” in the New River Valley. 

Best Stoplight to See An Honest-to-God Family Band

Any given Friday night near the glow of the red, yellow, and green lights, you’ve got a solid chance of catching a glimpse of something real special. Gaze upon three adolescent girls with similar facial features, eye color, and long straight brown hair as they strum their respective banjo, guitar, and ukulele while singing “Will the Circle Be Unbroken.” Clap along with the crowd as the girls glance at their father nearby, seeking his approval. Maybe tonight they get it. God is good.

Best Stoplight to Check Your Text Messages

Best do it here. Ain’t no stopping again for miles and miles. Unless you get a green light, then you’re fucked. 

Best Stoplight to Celebrate Freedom

On the corner by the light stands the courthouse where you got your wedding license eight years ago, and where today you walk out of single and ready to mingle after you filed for divorce from that slut you let kiss your children for all those years.

Best Stoplight to Buy Your Last Snow Shovel

You haven’t needed a new snow shovel since you bought one from that charming general store on the corner for the blizzard of ‘96. They don’t make ‘em like they used to and your heart ain’t what it used to be either. That new long sturdy shovel feels good, and you got it at a very competitive price. You will, however, inevitably overdo it digging your wife out so she can get to her hair appointment and drop dead in your half-shoveled driveway just as your granddaughter gets off the school bus. Your children will fight over who gets the shovel. It’s a mighty fine shovel. 

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