Report: Holy Shit It’s in the 60s

RICHMOND, Va. — Following a streak of unseasonably warm weather, citizens around Richmond and much of the commonwealth rejoiced today as it stayed in the fucking 60s outside, sources confirmed Tuesday. 

“Holy shit, this is awesome,” Chesterfield resident Phil Bedford, 52, said in a recent Facebook post, adding that the weather was a “huge fucking relief” after the high temperatures that have lingered on since the summer. “Like, damn. This was seriously a summer that would not fucking die. I was about to write off Mother Nature entirely, but damn does it feel good outside.” 

At the time of reporting, multiple eyewitnesses reported crowds running eagerly out of their houses wearing light jackets that they had been saving for the occasion.

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