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Sulking Jay Gruden Promised New Job as Head Coach of VCU Football

RICHMOND, Va. — In the wake of Jay Gruden’s firing from the Washington Redskins, VCU announced plans today to extend an offer to the sullen, shell of a man for the head coaching position for their men’s football team. 

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“We’re excited to have the opportunity to work with such an established AFL coach,” Ricky Trampton, a spokesperson for VCU Athletics, said in a statement, adding that they didn’t see the recently terminated coach responsible for the Redskins’ lackluster start to the season. 

“He’s a fine leader and just didn’t have the right mix under him. VCU Football has a great record — undefeated since 1838. We’re confident that Gruden’s coaching expertise and his attention to detail can help us maintain our streak.”

At the time of reporting, sources close to Gruden confirmed that he was looking forward to the opportunity, although when asked what his strategy would be to take on local rivals such as University of Richmond or Old Dominion University, Gruden merely shrugged.

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