“That Study About Our Bad Driving Is Bullshit!” Says Virginia Beach Resident Texting While Driving

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Lamenting the fact that a recent study by online insurance site QuoteWizard declared Virginia Beach drivers among the worst in the nation, Lynnhaven resident Douglas Parklow insisted that the study was complete bullshit in a text sent to a friend while driving.

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Parklow, who was driving on I-264 during his busy morning commute to work, wasted no time in texting his friend Steve Sharpe upon seeing the study while scrolling through his Facebook feed.

“There is no way that study is accurate,” Parklow said in the text that he sent as he failed to signal his merge onto the Lynnhaven Parkway exit. “There’s just no way that Norfolk or Portsmouth drivers are better than us. Absolutely no fucking way.”

Parklow also made a Facebook post mentioning the article, while traveling approximately 14 miles per hour under the speed limit in the left lane, stating that QuoteWizard was likely not a reliable source.

“I mean, did they even pull the data correctly?” Parklow posted as he cut off a Honda Odyssey traveling in the lane next to him, nearly causing a multi-car accident. “This sounds like a bunch of fake news, for real!”

At the time of reporting Parklow was reported to be sending an angry email to QuoteWizard while sitting at an intersection failing to realize that the red light had turned green.

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