After fifteen seasons of missed opportunities, unrealized potential, frustration, and outright irrelevance, the Washington Nationals have finally made it to the World Series. And following Wednesday’s road win against the Houston Astros, the Nationals are heading home to D.C., just two wins away from the first championship in franchise history. While this is a cause for celebration for many in the region, there is a growing concern throughout the commonwealth that the team’s success is elevating an already insufferable population of Northern Virginians to a level of self-superiority heretofore unimagined.
But that doesn’t mean it has to ruin your lunch break, happy hour, or evening out with friends. The Peedmont has expert advice for enduring the unconscionable smugness of a newly empowered NoVa Nationals fan base.
- Anytime a Northern Virginian uses the first person plural (“we,” “us,” “our”) when describing the Nationals’ performance, be sure to ask them what position they play for the Nationals.
- Don’t ever let them forget that from 1969-2004, the Washington Nationals franchise was actually the Montreal Expos. That’s in Canada. That’s not even AMERICA.
- Tempers can run high this far into the playoffs, so if a Northern Virginian ever gets too big for their britches, silently lift the baseball bat you carry around with “Nattitude Adjuster” carved into the barrel and rest it menacingly on your shoulder.
- Many Northern Virginians are also Capitals fans, so it’s critically important to bring up the Redskins and Wizards as often as possible.
- If you’re a Yankees fan, and a Nationals fan reminds you that this is the first decade since the 1910s that the Yankees haven’t been in a single World Series, feel free to remind them that…you know what? Fuck the Yankees. And fuck you.