Family Confuses VA Flaggers for Dixie Stampede, Gives Them Four Stars on Yelp

RICHMOND, Va. — A Pennsylvania family had a high-steppin’ good time on their way to Florida when they mistook a group of Virginia Flaggers for the Dolly Parton’s Dixie Stampede Dinner Attraction.

The Kurtz family, weary from hours of northern Virginia traffic and anxious for a brief respite from Interstate 95, spotted the small band of flaggers on the Boulevard while in search of a safe place to use the restroom.

“Our kids were hungry and screaming,” Fran Kurtz, 42, said. “We saw the stars and bars and thought, ‘what a wonderful way to teach our children some history.’”

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The Virginia Flaggers, a self-described Confederate heritage group, welcomed the Kurtzes with a song and took them on a flag-waving journey through the War of Northern Aggression. The family dined on sidewalk chicken bones and leftover Chanello’s breadsticks during the three hour interactive performance, which featured interpretations of the Constitution, synchronized horseback riding, and a rousing closing number entitled, “Heritage Not Hate.”

“This sort of thing happens all the time,” Frank Gibbons, a leader of the Virginia Flaggers, said. “Between our waving of old Dixie and generally rebellious demeanor, we honestly weren’t surprised by the mix up. We were just happy someone was willing to listen to our message that the Civil War was about defending Southern heritage and absolutely not about slavery.”

Despite the mix-up, the family had a rip-roaring good time and received complementary Confederate flag t-shirts adorned with the slogan, “If my shirt offends you, you need a history lesson.“

Before departing, Fran Kurtz gave the Virginia Flaggers four stars on Yelp.

“It would have been five,” Kurtz said, “but we found the food mediocre at best. The chicken had hardly any meat on it.”

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