WASHINGTON — For the third year in a row, Richmond area fuckboi Logan Hill is reportedly excited to travel to Washington, D.C., this weekend, where he is expected to try to pick up as many hot chicks as possible at this Saturday’s Women’s March.
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The Women’s March on Washington started in 2017 as a protest against the newly sworn-in president, Donald J. Trump, and his misogynistic rhetoric during the 2016 presidential campaign. However, the march quickly become a place for “woke” men like Hill to practice their best pick-up lines on the scores of college-educated feminists who gather in the nation’s capital each year.
“I’m what you would call an ally,” Hill told reporters, previewing lines he planned to use on dozens of young women and their mothers in the coming days. “I’ve even got my clever yet serious sign all ready to go. Wanna see?”
Not one to wait for consent, Hill immediately whipped out a large piece of cardboard reading, “This manaconda don’t want none unless she’s got rights, hun.”
“I figure it’s a good conversation starter,” Hill said proudly. “These rallies are a lot like speed dating, only sometimes the girls don’t shave their armpits.”
When asked how successful his strategy has been at prior marches, Hill gave a sly wink. “A gentleman never kisses and tells, but let’s just say I’m a firm believer in a woman’s right to choose.”
When reached for comment, every woman in the district responded with the vomit emoji.