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Gun Advocates Reward Selves With a Pat on the Back After Not Shooting Anyone at Rally

RICHMOND, Va. — Following a rally in support of the Second Amendment that saw no violence, gun enthusiasts rewarded themselves with a pat on the back for not shooting anyone, sources confirmed Tuesday.

The rally, which attracted thousands of attendees dressed in tactical gear and carrying multiple weapons, and which, prior to the rally, saw multiple arrests of white supremacists who had the intention to open fire, intimidating many minority and ethnic groups from coming into the city, is being celebrated as a peaceful protest that the community can build from.

“Good job team, we did it!” Jim Matner, a gun enthusiast who traveled from Lexington, KY, exclaimed in celebration at the fact that attendees managed not to accidentally fire their weapons at a State of Emergency-declared protest that attracted both the Proud Boys and controversial InfoWars host Alex Jones. “Today was a fine example of how to stand up for our rights in the most peaceful manner possible. We all deserve a pat on the back for carrying multiple guns around and not accidentally starting a shootout.”

At the time of reporting, gun owners were seen handing out trophies to themselves for not shooting anyone; according to sources, some gun owners were considering decorating their trophies — and the guillotine that was left in the downtown streets during the protest — around a particular street in the Museum District as monuments of peace.

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