Op-Ed: Doing Something and Nothing About Navy Hill Are Both Bad
As a non-professional opinion haver with no discernible life skills or expert insight into anything other than the 1985 Robotech TV-series, it’s clear to me that we absolutely need to do something about Richmond’s Navy Hill area.
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Doing something is clearly the best option because doing things leads to progress. Progress is always good because it allows us to continue doing things, more things, better things, things that you can write home to your parents about that will make them proud of you again.
However, doing something is likely very problematic, racist, misogynistic, consumerist, and probably very fiscally irresponsible. Thus, it is also clear to me that doing something is actually viciously evil and bad and is to be avoided at all costs.
The proper plan is to do precisely nothing at all, since if doing something is bad, then doing nothing must logically be good. The great political philosopher, Edmund Burke, once said that “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” But Burke probably didn’t support the incredibly niche political issues that I myself began supporting two months ago, so it’s probably safe to both ignore and vilify him. Hence, I shall advocate for the doing of nothing on Navy Hill. Since nothing is likely to be done, we can all safely move on with our lives in the blithe confidence that we are right to stand against any and all future Navy Hill projects on the off chance that they are bad.
Unfortunately, it appears that doing something is bad and so is doing nothing. Given that the stakes could not be lower for me, as I don’t ever go near Navy Hill and my only responsibility here is to justify my liberal arts degree and write words about things, I think, I will amend my official position to “Doing something and nothing about Navy Hill are both bad.”
Now that this debate is out of the way, I will focus my time on developing opinions about abortion and gun control, two issues where it’s absolutely clear what things we should be doing and not doing.
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