We Dispatched Our Intern to Review Valentine’s Meat-Juice; Now Hiring Intern

RICHMOND, Va. — In honor of Valentine’s Day, we made our intern taste and review Valentine’s Meat-Juice. In unrelated news, we are now looking to hire an intern.

In case the name isn’t obvious enough to you, meat juice was a liquid beef extract with medicinal purposes created in Richmond by Mann Satterwhite Valentine Jr. in the 1870s. It was said to cure pretty much everything, and apparently a lot of people believed this because it made Valentine rich.  

You may also know Valentine as the sugar daddy and namesake of The Valentine museum. In said museum, they keep several original bottles of Valentine’s Meat-Juice that may or may not be over a century old that we may or may not have pressured our former intern into drinking.

While our intern left us for bigger and brighter things shortly after tasting it, he did manage to confirm that meat-juice does in fact taste like meat.

As for hiring his replacement, we promise that we will strive to create a safe work environment that keeps bodily harm from consuming strange liquids to a minimum. But should the unfortunate accident happen, you can take comfort and solace in the fact that we will use your death for the most integral purposes.

So, what are you waiting for? Apply here.

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