News Peed

Curt Autry and Jim Duncan to Square off in Celebrity Deathmatch at the Hof

RICHMOND, Va. — In what is being billed as “the Hellstorm at the Hof,” Richmond news and weather personalities Curt Autry and Jim Duncan will square off next month in a celebrity deathmatch for charity. 

Tickets are already sold out for the eagerly anticipated event where Jim “Seven Deadly Suns” Duncan and Curt “The Marketing Department Made Me Do This” Autry will battle to be king of the newscast. The match will be held at the HofGarden atop Richmond’s famed Hofheimer Building. All proceeds will benefit the Richmond Emotional Support Animal League (RESAL), a non-profit which trains non-traditional animals such as guinea pigs and miniature horses to serve as emotional support companions. 

“I have 14 Emmys, I cannot believe I got roped into this mess,” Autry groaned when asked about his participation. “But it’s for an excellent cause, so fine, I can be a good sport.”

Preparations for the event are currently underway. Organizers have installed the wrestling ring on the roof and are working with each party to determine their walkout music. Event organizers are reportedly still in negotiations with Autry regarding his costume, as he feels it is too cold for spandex. Duncan said he plans to wear a Lucha Libre costume adorned with snowflakes.

Duncan, who has been the city’s leading weatherman since the Carter administration, was characteristically good natured about the opportunity. “This should be a real treat,” Duncan said. “Forecasting the weather sometimes gets a little dull, so it will be nice to do something neat for charity and get a little exercise in the process.”

Duncan has said that if he wins he plans to declare a snow day in Richmond this spring “just for the heck of it.”

Heavy betting has already started on the match. Duncan, whom sports bookers have described as “scrappy as a determined Balboa” is expected to last at least six rounds against the favored Autry, who moonlighted in an underground wrestling league while attending the University of Oklahoma.

“Autry may have the ring experience and a punishing suplex,” said Dáithí MacGeraghty, lead odds man at Paddypower.com, “but Duncan has the speed and recently perfected the shooting star press. I wouldn’t discount his ability after the third round, especially if Autry gets bored and starts asking if he can just write RESAL a check and go home.”

Regardless of who wins the friendly deathmatch, Richmond can be certain of one thing: Autry will post a biting critique of the event to his Facebook page next to a picture of a missing dog.

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