RICHMOND, Va. — Following the Virginia Alcoholic Beverage Control Authority’s (ABC) decision to allow shipping from Virginia distilleries directly to consumers, your roommate who brews gin in the communal bathtub, is now considered essential to the economy, he announced Wednesday.
“It’s about time my thriving business is deemed important enough by the state for shipping purposes,” wrote your roommate in a Facebook post about his dry gin type liquor he makes in the shared bathtub he calls Bathe, adding “I am ready for the challenge of addressing my consumer’s needs for spirits and cocktails during this stressful time.”
Though showering for you and your quarantine spouse has become a problem, the pride in his eyes makes the hygenic sacrifice worth it.
“I’m excited to be recognized as someone important enough for everyone struggling at home during quarantine, and I can’t wait to start shipping out mass quantities of Bathe, all in the spirit of keeping the economy going. Lookout Beefeater, there’s a new gin-lord in town.”
This is not your roommate’s first time hawking a home-made product. His artisanal home-made beer cheese sold well in the apartment complex, but sadly may have contributed to the death of Ms. Rhudene in Apartment 2A.