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City Accidentally Blows up Kings Dominion Instead of Former Dominion Energy Headquarters

RICHMOND, Va. — In a presentation that rivaled the theme park’s annual Fourth of July fireworks celebration, Richmond city officials accidentally destroyed Kings Dominion instead of the former Dominion Energy headquarters located downtown, sources confirmed Saturday.

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According to Jacob Ashton, a spokesperson for the city’s demolition division, blowing up the area’s popular amusement park was the result of a simple name mix-up.

“Oops, wrong Dominion,” Ashton said, standing before burning pieces of steel from the park’s iconic Eiffel Tower replica. “We thought we gave the explosives contractor the right address, but they must have put in the wrong name in Google Maps.”

Whatever the case, rather than rig the former Dominion building to implode, the demolition team apparently placed explosives throughout the Old Virginia, Candy Apple Grove, and Safari Village sections of the park.

“They loaded up Twisted Timbers with what was likely too much TNT,” Ashton continued. “But I don’t see that as an issue since we all miss the Hurler. So, at least we might have gotten some good out of it.”

Officials confirmed that Planet Snoopy, the Peanuts-themed children’s area, was also completely levelled by thermite charges, leaving a 70-foot crater where the Woodstock Express roller coaster once stood. The games and concession stands throughout the park were not spared either.

“The contractors did note the joy of placing dynamite in the buildings that housed those impossible-to-win carnival games that cost $8 to play. We’re happy to say that the giant stuffed animal prizes were completely incinerated.”

The city has promised to make amends for its mistake to Cedar Fair, the owners of Kings Dominion, by offering to rebuild the beloved amusement park in the still-standing Dominion Energy building downtown.

7 Comments on City Accidentally Blows up Kings Dominion Instead of Former Dominion Energy Headquarters

  1. Literally not the time for a joke like this right now. With every city burning the last thing I wanna read is that one of my favorite amusement parks was accidentally “blown up”. Whoever wrote this please get a grasp on reality. The only thing that deserves to destroy Kings Dominion is a volcano but we don’t even have that anymore…

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  2. Shelby Miller // May 31, 2020 at 12:07 pm // Reply

    The picture looks photoshopped

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  3. B.S. talk about fake news.I live in Richmond area and the Dominion Power was imploded .

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  4. Soo stupid! No one has any common sense anymore.

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  5. Dottie Sullivan // June 1, 2020 at 2:01 am // Reply

    The Dominion Energy building was actually imploded at 7 a.m. on Saturday morning—please explain….it is no longer standing

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  6. Andrew Brent Christensen // June 1, 2020 at 11:38 am // Reply

    Typical Google fake news. Why do you stoop so low?

    Like

  7. fake news

    Like

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