Norfolk Resident Considering Dealing With HRBT Traffic for a Trip to Publix

NORFOLK, Va. — Weighing the pros and cons of a trip to Williamsburg for a premier grocery store, Norfolk resident Larry Hughes is considering dealing with the notorious Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel traffic for a trip to Publix, sources confirmed Tuesday.

A resident in Norfolk’s East Beach neighborhood, Hughes cited the lack of options for a large, high-quality grocery store that has led to the near justification of a jaunt through borderline impassable traffic conditions.

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“Ever since we lost Martin’s, I’ve been on the hunt for a halfway decent grocery store,” Hughes claimed, adding that the announcement of the closing of the Kroger in Wards Corner has further fueled his decision to branch out. “I still can’t pronounce the name of that ‘Lid-el’ place, and I’ll be damned before I shop at the Piggly Wiggly again.”

Hughes admitted to knowing the severe risks involved with attempted travel through the 3.5 mile tunnel, such as the threat of being left stranded on the bridge, being left stranded in the tunnel, and falling ill with dysentery. However, he said that Publix’s quality kitchen and wide variety of goods is likely enough to warrant what could be a brutal three-day excursion at this point.

“I know I’m basically gambling with fate when it comes to that damn tunnel, but a trip to Publix may be worth it. I might have to leave all of the refrigerated items out on this one, though.”

Hughes also revealed that ever since the announcement of the Publix’s opening, he had been stocking up on provisions and supplies in case he decided to take on the tunnel traffic. He said he’d bring enough for a one-way trip, and then replenish the goods at the Publix before embarking on the return journey.

He concluded that even though the location was less than ideal, it could be worse. “At least I don’t have to drive all the way to Richmond for something. Or even worse, to Portsmouth.”

Be sure to visit our online store at least once today. And tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow.