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Grubhub Begins Tattoo Delivery in Richmond

RICHMOND, Va. — Deliver-Ink, a new home-tattooing service offered by Grubhub, will begin delivery service throughout the Richmond area next week, some inked up bro named Roy confirmed Monday.

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“It’s no secret that the pandemic and its resulting shelter-in-place orders have led many businesses to find different ways of turning a profit; some tattoo parlors were even considering earning extra cash by hawking grilled cheese,” Dustin Carter, a spokesperson for Grubhub, said in a statement.

“So we’re partnering with local tattoo shops to help dispatch a leather-bound tattoo artist to your front door for a personal session. They’ll bring all of the equipment, all you have to do is provide them with a design. We’ve also instructed them to take massive amounts of hydroxychloroquine just to be on the safe side,” Carter continued, adding that tattoo orders of RVA logos, a discarded chicken bone, or a PBR tall boy would receive a 10% discount.

“We know that everyone’s been working on their quarantine beards, and what better complement to overgrown facial hair than some sick ink?” he added. “Now you can get your quarantine partner’s name tattooed to remember this strange time or maybe a wicked design of the virus going around your upper arm.”

When asked about any additional fees the tattoo shops may have to incur to do business through Grubhub, Carter noted that everything will be pretty standard, aside from a service fee, a convenience fee, a processing fee, a transaction fee, an advertising fee, a fee for ink-splotted dragons, wizards, or names, and a fee for having a fee.

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