RICHMOND, Va. — A Powhite toll booth recently announced its plan to go into early retirement after gaining copious amounts of excess change throughout its career.
“I’ve worked hard for 30 years receiving coins, flashing my lights red and green, and opening up my traffic gate for drivers,” the toll booth said. “I did the math the other day and I figured out I’ve got more than enough to go into early retirement.”
The toll booth, located on Virginia State Route 76 South, attributed the majority of its retirement fund to years of rushed customers throwing in extra coins. “People are always in such a hurry, they just throw in more money than they need to. Five cents here, ten cents there — it’s added up over the years. And when someone mistakes a quarter for a nickel, that’s like hitting the jackpot.”
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The toll booth emphasized that its job isn’t as easy as it seems, however. Over the years it has endured drivers yelling profanities, throwing in foreign objects, and driving straight through its traffic gate. “That thing gets broken at least once a month. Drivers are crazy. But I’m ready to put all that stuff behind me. I can’t wait to flip on my red X and just watch the traffic go by. Maybe later I’ll work part-time as an E-ZPass booth.”
At press time, the toll booth was seen separating out its collection of Canadian coins while attempting to scrape the bumper sticker graffiti off of its surface.
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