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Liberty University’s New White History Course Just 50 Minutes of Staring at Statue

LYNCHBURG, Va. — Describing the course as a way of preserving white America’s rich history of enslaving and refusing civil liberties to marginalized groups of people, Liberty University announced a new class that will consist of staring at statues for 50 minutes.

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Named “White History 101,” the course will ignore traditional educational resources like textbooks, academic journals, and archives, instead relying solely on statues to impart historical knowledge.

“White History 101, the newest addition to our curriculum, will consist of three sessions a week during which students will stare blankly at various statues of our Caucasian heroes,” Liberty spokesperson Madelyn Walter said in a statement. “Utilizing the entire commonwealth as its classroom, one class will be spent staring at Stonewall Jackson in Richmond, while homework may consist of extra time looking at the Fort Early and Jubal Early Monument right here in Lynchburg.”

“This learning technique will be instrumental in making sure we don’t forget our history. We’re confident that students will learn all they need to know about our white forebears by staring at a large bronze statue for roughly three hours a week,” Walter added.

Miniature statues will be made available to students to take home and stare at if they are unable to attend a lesson.

The class will be a required prerequisite for all majors. Walter noted that an additional elective, tentatively titled “White History 102,” is in the process of being finalized, which will consist of students writing “All Lives Matter” in various art media types once a week.

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