Hurricane Isaias Threatens the Three Tourists Expected to Visit Virginia Beach This Week

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — In view of Hurricane Isaias’s impact on the Hampton Roads area, the lone three tourists that had planned to visit Virginia Beach may have to postpone their vacation, sources confirmed Tuesday.

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According to reports, the Dennis family of Winchester had been eagerly anticipating four days of bland beaches, a rundown boardwalk, and surprisingly mediocre seafood given its proximity right next to the ocean. Unfortunately, they will likely have to cancel due to the upcoming storm that nobody can seem to pronounce correctly.

Bradly Dunn, a spokesperson for the Virginia Tourism Board, was dismayed but not surprised by news of the impending storm.

“It’s already hard enough to get more than a handful of visiting tourists here, so a hurricane potentially scaring away them away is something we need to take seriously,” Dunn said in a statement, noting that the sudden loss of a family of three’s four-night stay is a real punch in the dick.

Given the severity of the situation, Dunn said the city plans to pull out all the stops to entice the family to return. City officials announced a plan to give them a $20 gift card to Bahama Mia, a framed portrait of the family with the Neptune statue, and a free tetanus shot prior to their next visit to Atlantic Fun Park.

The family could not be reached for comment, but a source close to the family revealed that they were already planning a rescheduled beach trip later this summer to Nags Head instead.

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