Richmond Aims to be Horse Statue Capital of America

RICHMOND, Va. — With controversy still surrounding the removal of several statues from Monument Avenue, the Richmond Tourism Board (RTB) has announced a new proposal with aims to make Richmond the horse statue capital of America.

In attempting to wrest the honor from Bugtussle, KY, the RTB seeks to make Richmond stand out in more fun, less racist ways. Board member Jan Kline explained, “People forget that Virginia has a proud horse-related history as well. Virginia was the birthplace of Secretariat and our horse population has been making great strides since the 1900s. Also, horse pun!”

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While the proposal wouldn’t protect the Confederate generals, many of whom have already met their fate, the horses would remain on or be returned to their pedestals. The proposal also would also add statues of Secretariat, a Chincoteague pony, and Rusty, Kramer’s horse from that one episode of “Seinfeld.”

However, the proposal has met with some criticism. Community activists have claimed that Robert E. Lee’s monumental horse, while not Traveller, still shared in the racism of the Confederate general. The board is awaiting results from a recent Virginia Tech study as to whether horses can actually be racist. Early reports indicate that horses can express a very profound disdain for opossums, certain types of beetles, goats that qualify for welfare, and Scandinavians. 

“We’re confident that this will put Richmond on the map, for horse people at the very least,” Kline continued. “And they’re rich, so we should have enough tourism money to make up for the civil unrest of recent months.”