Biden Assures Public That Richmond Economy Will Reopen in Time for Hardywood Gingerbread Stout Release

RICHMOND, Va. — Acknowledging that the anticipated release of Virginia’s favorite seasonal beer is imperative to the state’s economy, former Vice President Joe Biden told supporters at a Richmond rally that the city would fully reopen in time for Hardywood Park Craft Brewery’s annual Gingerbread Stout release.

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“If you think we’re going to go a year without the flavors and aromas of local honey, ginger, and cinnamon packed into a crisp blend of hoppy goodness, then you’ve got another think coming,” Biden announced, adding that any special release events would still require customers to line up six feet from one another outside.

“The reopening of any state or city has to occur without one iota of malarkey, but you can be sure that we’ll get everything done in time for Hardywood’s Gingerbread Stout release later this year. Personally, I’m not about to go into the Christmas season without one of the bourbon barrel editions, so trust me when I say we’ll make it happen.”

Biden’s statement was met with cheers and applause, particularly from former Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe, who stood in the front row and proceeded to scream “Hell yeah, brother” before producing a can of Hardywood Singel from his jacket pocket and shotgunning it on the spot.