Zillow Now Advertising Nuclear Blast Radius in Northern Virginia Listings

ARLINGTON, Va. — Touting a new feature that will bring neighborhood safety and security to the next level, popular home purchasing app Zillow will begin disclosing where Northern Virginia houses fall in the event of a nuclear attack on the nation’s capital, the company announced Monday.

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“We know the world can be a tense place, and the American people deserve to purchase the safest home for their dollar,” Anne Sterling, a spokesperson for Zillow, said in a statement. “We believe our new fallout filter will help,” Sterling continued, adding that the new feature will overlay a map of predicted blast zones and use machine learning to determine common prevailing wind patterns.

“With such a tight real estate market, prospective homebuyers deserve to know where they stand in the event a nuclear warhead takes out our nation’s capital. This new feature will not only identify homes that could be completely obliterated by a nuclear attack on Washington, but also those that will be impacted by life-threatening nuclear fallout for decades to come.”

“Families need all the details on prospective neighborhoods when looking for a home—is it in a good school district, is the neighborhood close to restaurants and shopping, will their family survive in the event Kim Jong Un gets hangry and fires a hydrogen bomb at the capital,” Sterling said. “This new feature will help families know how their dream home will fare during a nuclear Armageddon.”

Zillow’s planned release of the new fallout filter is part of a host of new features aimed at allowing users to filter potential unwanted hassles in their next home. Another new filter allows users to find dead spots in Verizon’s cell network, and a special feature will crawl social media to pinpoint every Trump supporter in a given neighborhood.