Terry McAuliffe Furious Upon Learning Longtime “Hangover Nausea Cure” Is Being Discontinued

HEATHSVILLE, Va. — Calling the decision a betrayal of Virginia’s finest export second to Hardywood’s Gingerbread Stout, former governor of Virginia Terry McAuliffe is furious with Coca-Cola’s decision to discontinue the production of Northern Neck Ginger Ale, which McAuliffe claims is his most trusted hangover cure, sources confirmed Tuesday.

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“This is total bullshit,” the former governor declared, recounting some of his experiences in which the beverage helped him recover after a wild night of partying.

“Forget ibuprofen or a few bananas, it was Northern Neck Ginger Ale that got me through some of my most catastrophic hangovers. When I got blitzed with [Mark] Warner after Northam’s victory in 2017, and then when we kicked Corey Stewart’s ass a year later and I did a Vienna Lager keg stand in the parking lot of a Ruby Tuesday, Northern Neck was there to get me through the next day.”

At the time of reporting, McAuliffe was spotted driving across Rte. 360 in Northumberland County in a retired campaign van with a microphone, encouraging locals to join him in protest of Coca-Cola’s decision to discontinue the popular soda.