BUCKINGHAM, Va. — Stressing that he didn’t have much time to explain, a cyborg claiming to be from the year 2051 warned voting adults not to elect Mike Murphy for Sheriff of Buckingham County, officials reported Monday.
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“You have to trust me when I say that voting for this man will be the end of life as you know it,” the X-1157 model cyborg warned citizens across Buckingham County, stressing that his tenure as sheriff would change the course of history in horrific, unimaginable ways.
“Look, I know he looks like a loving family man with two adorable daughters in his TV ads, but electing Murphy would irreversibly trigger a chain of events that would lead to mayhem, destruction, the closure of King’s Dominion, and a future not unlike ‘Mad Max Fury Road.’”
When reached for further comment, the cyborg was found inconsolable after learning most residents of Buckingham County had already voted early.