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Report: COVID-19 Vaccine Side Effect Somehow Makes PBR More Desirable

NEW YORK CITY — A recent study of Pfizer’s COVID-19 vaccine found that it altered patient taste buds slightly, making Pabst Blue Ribbon somehow more desirable, sources confirmed Monday.

“In our initial trials we have noticed that every subject given a preliminary dose of our vaccine developed a sudden desire for PBR,” Hans Wolfsteinem, a senior researcher in Pfizer’s developmental medicine department, commented. He added that this strange side effect tends to appear one week post vaccination.

“We haven’t found any scientific or biomedical reason that explains this, but every patient that has had an early trial run of our vaccine has found PBR not only more palatable, but also more desirable, than other beers. We tried offering patients in our test samples some higher quality options, like Blue Moon and Devils Backbone’s signature Vienna Lager, but 100% of subjects still opted for PBR.”

“It’s definitely something that we didn’t see coming,” Wolfsteinem added. “But it’s undoubtedly better than numbness in your ass or growing a third arm out of your chest. Although not ideal, having bad taste isn’t the worst side effect imaginable.”

Wolfsteinem noted that researchers will continue to monitor the effects of the vaccine and would be forced to take action if subjects showed symptoms of explaining the differences of single versus double IPAs unprompted.

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