News Peed

Northam Bans Ted Nugent’s Entire Discography Ahead of Pro-Gun Lobby Day Rally

RICHMOND, Va. — Given the violence that took place in Washington, Gov. Northam decided to play it safe by declaring a ban on Ted Nugent’s music in advance of the annual Lobby Day rally on January 18th, officials confirmed Wednesday.  

RELATED (article continued below):

While not acknowledging what some are calling, “The Motor City Madman Meets the River City Ruler,” Northam has decided to stick to his figurative guns on this issue. “With the upcoming inauguration, combined with the events at the U.S. Capitol last week, we can’t afford to take any chances,” Northam said, adding that the ban on the singer-songwriter’s catalog extended to cover versions of his material, too. 

“Effective immediately, Ted Nugent’s full discography of music  — from his self-titled release in 1975 to his rather appropriately named 2018 album “The Music Made Me Do It” — is prohibited from being played anywhere, anytime. Given our nation’s tense climate, it’s necessary to take precautions that may help prevent any extreme actions from armed individuals across the political spectrum.”

According to the new ordinance, listening to Nugent’s music is now considered a Class 1 misdemeanor, and anyone caught playing his music, whether it’s confined through headphones or through a poor-quality YouTube recording of a concert, may face serious fines.

“This also includes any recordings he produced under the monikers The Amboy Dukes, Damn Yankees, or any of his other side projects,” Northam added.

Despite criticisms from across the commonwealth, it appears that the new restrictions are already being enforced, and swiftly. Dan Skylor, 59, of Staunton, is currently facing criminal charges for playing his vinyl copy of Nugent’s 1977 album “Cat Scratch Fever.”

“I was cleaning around the house and figured I’d put on some music,” Skylor explained in an interview. “Next thing I know, a couple of police officers are at my door writing me up a citation.” 

As a doctor, the album’s title song and perhaps the best-known Nugent tune, strikes a particular chord with Northam.  

“Over the years, I’ve dealt with several cases of felinosis, more commonly known as ‘cat scratch fever.’ It’s not something that you should joke or sing about, especially in a minor key.”

Jake Wydell of Blackstone had a more intense experience. According to Wydell, he was driving on Rte. 460 with his windows down, playing songs from the singer’s 1995 release “Spirit of the Wild,” when he suddenly found himself surrounded by multiple police vehicles.

“They damn near ran me off the road and ordered me out of the vehicle while they searched it for any unregistered weapons or any other albums by Ted. Then they wrote me up and told me to switch to something a bit more easy-going, like Neil Young or Steve Winwood.”

“I thought having a ‘Back the Blue’ bumper sticker would help me out here, but apparently not,” Wydell added.

According to sources at the Virginia State Capitol, Northam is considering extending the ban to include music by Lee Greenwood and Hank Williams Jr.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: