News Peed

City Council Erects Fake State Capitol Ahead of Lobby Day

RICHMOND, Va. — In a move similar to the creation of Elko Tract during World War ll, Richmond City Council have completed construction on a mock state capitol ahead of the annual pro-Second Amendment rally on January 18, officials confirmed Saturday.

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According to sources, the replica of the state capitol building was constructed through a joint partnership with Goochland County officials due to the abundance of available land. 

“We’re confident that our decoy Capitol constructed off Route 250 in Goochland can successfully divert large caravans of pro-gun supporters, and annoying tourists with their dumb questions, away from our city,” a spokesperson for the city council stated, noting that every aspect of replica building and grounds constructed about six miles west of Short Pump, from the height of the rotunda to the dimensions of the Executive Mansion, had been exactly duplicated.

“Our goal is to avoid a massive number of riled up gun enthusiasts descending onto our city, so in addition to our dummy Capitol, we’ll be adding signage on I-64, I-295, and I-95 directing traffic to the new building. We’ve also littered the grounds with discarded chicken bones and craft beer cans and we have a panhandler on site to make it seem more authentic to Richmond.”

“Also, please don’t tell them that we did this,” the spokesperson continued. “We’re hoping that most of them have sworn off the internet following Parler’s downfall.”

The spokesperson added that after the Lobby Day rally, the building was under consideration for use as the set of an upcoming film titled “More Than A Community College: The J. Sergeant Reynolds Story.”

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