Generous Powhatan Reenactor Donates Coronavirus Contaminated Blankets to Jamestown Interpreter

JAMESTOWN, Va. —  In an attempted act of charity, professional Powhatan tribe reenactor John Kinsey unwittingly donated used blankets utterly teeming with the novel coronavirus to a group of Jamestown interpreters. 

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Kinsey, a current member of the Powhatan tribe who also portrays one of his ancestors during live performances, swore he had only the best intentions when he decided to donate boxes of face masks, canned goods, and for whatever reason, some gently-used blankets to interpreters of the original Jamestown settlers.

Max Gorman, who portrays English settler James Read, told sources on Wednesday that he was initially grateful for the donation as many of his fellow interpreters were suffering financial hardship as a result of COVID-19. However, since it is springtime and the weather is getting warmer, he really wasn’t sure how useful the blanket would be.

“In this time of uncertainty, I felt it’s especially important to put aside our reenacted differences and come together as a community,” Kinsey told reporters. He went on to add, “the cooperation between the real life descendants of the Powhatan tribe and these white people playing dress up should really be used as a model for all Americans to follow right now.”

Kinsey assured Gorman and others he was initially unaware that he had been infected with the coronavirus during a weekend trip to New York. While Gorman is expected to make a full recovery, so far 15 Jamestown interpreters have contracted the virus, with several in critical condition.

When reached for a comment about the outbreak among the Jamestown interpreters, an official spokesperson for the Powhatan tribe responded, “Payback’s a bitch.”