Report: Guy in Honda Civic Pretty Sure He Can Make It up That Hill

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — Dismissing the dangerous road conditions as a mere inconvenience, Chesterfield resident Jason Akers is pretty sure his 2012 Honda Civic EX can make it up that hill, sources confirmed Monday.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ve driven in the snow a couple of times before, and the convenience store up there has a halfway decent craft beer selection,” Akers stated before taking the wheel of his 2WD sedan and drifting out of his parking space toward the steeply inclined hill covered in 3 inches of snow.

“I’ve been through a lot with this car, and the hill doesn’t look that bad from down here,” Akers continued. “As long as I floor it at the beginning, that should give me enough ‘umph’ to make it to the top. I topped off my tires with air yesterday, just in case.”

Akers was last seen dashing up the hill at 20 mph over the speed limit before slowly coming to a halt about halfway up, despite his best effort smashing the gas pedal in a surge of adrenaline.

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