Nutzy the Flying Squirrel To Be Neutered, Renamed Craig

RICHMOND, Va. — After much deliberation, the Richmond Flying Squirrels’ mascot, Nutzy, is to be neutered at the local SPCA later this month, the baseball team confirmed Saturday.

This decision came after complaints were filed from numerous fans regarding the indecency of Nutzy’s costume. The Flying Squirrels board also decided that the beloved mascot would be renamed after Craig Scheer, a dedicated staff member who wore the Nutzy suit for many years.

“We’ve never neutered a rodent before, but Nutzy’s testicles are similar to those of a large pitbull, and we assume the operation is comparable,” Jill Dunbar, an SPCA representative, explained, adding that the procedure was scheduled to be a joint operation involving medical professionals at MCV and various veterinarians from across the Richmond metropolitan area.

“While his genitalia is, of course, natural, we feel its best to scale it down to make his appearance more family friendly. Nutzy is looking forward to the procedure—and if all goes according to plan, he’ll only miss a couple of games of the season due to this.”

Scheer, the employee who has represented Nutzy in costume over the years, said he’s excited for the name change and thinks it represents a new direction for the franchise.

“I was the Freeman Rebel in high school, so I just assumed that the logical next step in my offensive mascot career was to become Nutzy the Flying Squirrel. But I think the name change to Craig is a great, one-syllable, easy-to-spell name that has the opportunity to build the team even more in Richmond.”

Dunbar noted that in remembrance of the former mascot name, “Nutzy’s Candied Nuts” will be available for purchase at both the Richmond SPCA and the Diamond for the remainder of the season for $9 a bag.