Ivermectin Street Vendor Excited for Lobby Day

RICHMOND, Va. — Noting that the site of parked trucks with Gadsden flag bumper stickers was a promising sign for a solid payday, local ivermectin street vendor Chuck Newport is feeling pretty good about Lobby Day, sources confirmed Monday.

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“The downtown street corners around the James Center are always very competitive, but Lobby Day might give me an advantage today,” Newport explained, adding that his ivermectin-based delicacies he manufactures in his Mechanicsville warehouse tend to attract middle-aged white men with goatees and Oakley sunglasses.

“Even though business really began to boom around the end of last summer, we still have of our off days. Needless to say, I’m pretty optimistic for Lobby Day. When I saw a bunch of jacked up F-150s with ‘Let’s Go Brandon’ bumper stickers poorly parallel parked on Cary Street, I just knew today was going to be a home run.”

At the time of reporting, a group of citizens sporting camouflaged hunting attire and bolt action rifles approached his stand and began pondering the menu offerings.