These are actually ranked in no particular order, but with gas pricing rising following Russian sanctions, we came up some of the ways you can save money on your fuel economy without making wild adjustments to your daily routine.
Learn to use a pogo stick
With a little practice, you’ll soar over all those potholes and dodge stray cats with ease, and you’ll improve your balance for cycling, if that’s your thing. A win-win in our book.
Complain about that one pipeline that isn’t finished or something
Complaining about the pipeline that Biden was supposed to finish or something will not cost you any gas.
Construct A Mad Max-esque assemblage of Bolt and Lime Scooters held together with duct tape and rage
We’re not even sure if the scooters run on their own, but you’ll soon be battling with an eco-friendly War Rig during rush hour if you combine them.
Ride the Pulse
Just kidding. Like any proper citizen of Richmond, you despise public transportation, no matter how practical it is when gas prices are high.
Take up unicycling
You’ll need to cultivate a handlebar mustache and invest time to master this skill, but once you do, you’ll instantly become the fourteenth most obnoxious person in this town. Start wearing ironic suspenders or quoting Ayn Rand to get bumped up a few notches.
After two years of Covid, you should be pretty good at staying the fuck home (unless you’re a total dick). Be honest with yourself—the feeling of the couch cushion nestled steadfastly against your ass is an acceptable and energy-saving substitute for love.