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Report: Most Disgusting IPA at Brewery Unfortunately Most Potent

AFTON, Va. — According to a new study published by the Commonwealth Committee of Beer Tasting (CCBT), the most disgusting IPA at Ravenous Brewing is also the most potent, officials announced Friday.

“After combing through their diverse beer menu featuring everything from hazy to light to double hazelnut woodfire IPAs, we can confidently say that Ravenous’ Moonlight IPA, the most disgusting thing available, is also the most potent,” a report read, adding that the 8.9% ABV beverage tasted like a mixture of ballpoint pen ink and Nelson County sewer water.

“It’s not uncommon to see correlations pertaining to alcohol content and overall palatability, and out of the many beers we sampled on our flight, this IPA was no exception. It certainly presents a frustrating predicament for patrons who are looking for a fast buzz but also want to enjoy what they’re consuming. Drinking an IPA that tastes like what a Pabst Blue Ribbon aged from 1899 probably tastes like is certainly not ideal, but it will definitely get the job done.”

The CCBT’s report concluded by reccomending patrons who are looking to get completely fucked up at this brewery order the Moonlight IPA but maybe chase it with the kolsch or porter, which were found to be much more desirable in taste.

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