VCU Offers $25 Gift Card to Village Cafe for Washington Commanders

RICHMOND, Va. — Following Dan Snyder’s announcement to explore selling the Washington Commanders, Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) has offered a $25 gift card to buy the franchise, sources confirmed Saturday.

“We see this is a fantastic opportunity to finally add a football team to our ever-growing university,” Denise Grace, a spokesperson for the university, announced to reporters at the Siegel Center, adding that the university felt a gift card to the restaurant popular with VCU fans in exchange for the franchise was a fair deal.

“The Village Cafe has long been the best spot in the city to cheer on the Rams, no question. But we also must respect the fact that the franchise hasn’t won a Super Bowl in over 30 years. Hell, they didn’t even make the playoffs last year. It’s not like we’re talking about the ‘72 Dolphins here. We’re confident that a $25 gift card to the Village Cafe — which can easily cover lunch for two, albeit without drinks and before tip — is a reasonable offer, and we look forward to Snyder’s response.”

Grace went on to add that the university may be willing to purchase a city property intended for low-income housing to add to the deal, if necessary.