Report: Creep Who Bullied You In High School Expected to Vote Today

YOUR LOCAL DISTRICT — Following the political turmoil that has swept the nation over the last few years, Chad Smith, a creepy acquaintance that bullied you multiple times throughout high school is expected to vote alongside you today, sources confirmed this morning. 

Smith, who went to high school in Henrico with you and consistently teased you for any possible reason, was seen sharing Conservative memes on social media and praising Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter as “just what the founding fathers would’ve wanted” before getting into his Ford F-250 outfitted with gadsden flag bumper stickers to head to his local polling station. Sources also confirmed that Smith, who likely was a justified target in the #MeToo movement, had no issue getting time off from his work from his father’s financial investments company, and was looking forward to casting a ballot in, as stated on his Truth Social account, “in the name of freedom for those who weren’t born.” 

At the time of reporting, Smith was overheard talking about how he and his friends Kyle, Chadwick, and Stu were going to celebrate a red wave victory at the Beach House in the West End.