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Youngkin Proposes Giving People Bulletproof Red Sweater Vests to Combat Gun Violence in Lieu of Gun Legislation

RICHMOND, Va. Following the tragic shooting at Walmart in Chesapeake that left multiple dead, Gov. Youngkin has proposed red sweater vests that are bulletproof, his administration confirmed Saturday

“The safety, well-being, and proper dress attire are the top priority for both our adults and children,” Youngkin said in a statement, adding that his offices were working out a deal with Virginia State Police and Bass Pro Shops to supply the vests.

“We all know that any kind of gun control legislation is basically communist, and while the only person who can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun, a cozy red flannel vest that doubles as sound body armor is the next best thing when your local hero packing a pistol might be running a few minutes late.”

“Our vests will include ballistic plates that cover both the chest, back, and sides of the human body,” Youngkin continued. “Not only does this idea prioritize safety — you could even say its bulletproof — but the commonwealth’s populace will certainly look quite nice wearing matching red outfits.”

When asked about the possibility of passing any legislation aimed at preventing future mass shootings, Youngkin simply screamed “CHICAGO!” before brandishing a 12-gauge shotgun and firing it into the sky.

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