“Just Be Careful in the City” Short Pump Father Reminds Son Before Going Out in the Museum District

RICHMOND, Va. — Stressing the dangers of the city, Bob Crandell of Short Pump cautioned his 23-year-old son, before heading into the Museum District on Friday evening, sources confirmed Saturday.

“All I’m saying, son, is that you need to be careful out there,” Crandell, who hasn’t ventured within the city limits since a dinner at The Tobacco Company in 1999, explained, highlighting the violence the city was once known for.

Citing outdated crime statistics he read on his neighborhood watch’s Facebook group, Crandell informed his son to remain highly vigilant during the half-block walk from his car past $800,000  homes on his way to Bandito’s. “There’s a reason they used to call that place ‘The Devil’s Triangle’ back in the ‘70s,” Crandell explained. “Watch your ass and cross the street if you see anyone else on the sidewalk.”

“The city is a rough place, son, and you can’t be too careful these days — especially since they rioted and looted Monument Avenue a couple of years ago,” he continued. “I just don’t want you out past sundown in the Museum District, and that’s that. And send me texts every 15 minutes to let me know where you are and that you’re safe.”

Additional reports stated that Crandell suffered a minor heart attack upon learning his son was also considering venturing to Shyndigz Market for cake later in the evening.