New Kent County Offers to Rename Itself Buc-ee’s County in Bid for Popular Travel Store

NEW KENT, Va. — Following a bid to possibly acquire the popular gas station and travel store Buc-ee’s, representatives from the New Kent County Council have offered to rename the area Buc-ee’s County, sources confirmed Tuesday.

“Getting a Buc-ee’s in New Kent would be a total game changer for our economy,” Scott Forger, a member of the New Kent County Council, said at a press conference, adding that it wouldn’t be terribly difficult to redesign state maps to accommodate the name change.

“We’re very excited about the prospect of scoring a mega-gas station like Buc-ee’s, and we’re prepared to do whatever advertising or branding necessary to win the bid — even if that means changing the name of our county. Hell, none of us even know why it’s called ‘New Kent’ anyway. We’ll even pay a couple of people dressed as Buc-ee’s mascots to stand on I-64 and wave at motorists to come to the store.”

Forger ended his statement by noting that a large motivating factor was knowing it’d piss off neighboring Charles City County if New Kent got a Buc-ee’s and they didn’t